


Buzzcut Season

by merelyafigment, visionofblue (merelyafigment)



Series: Brushfires [1]
Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Dr. Nathan is probably fine with me giving O'Reily someone else to obsess over, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26319052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merelyafigment/pseuds/merelyafigment, https://archiveofourown.org/users/merelyafigment/pseuds/visionofblue
Summary: Ryan O'Reily has to shave his head after he starts getting chemo, and Miguel Alvarez just happens to be there on his work detail. He also happens to be set on helpfully bothering Ryan.
Relationships: Miguel Alvarez/Ryan O'Reily
Series: Brushfires [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912360
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	Buzzcut Season

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: terrible people said and did terrible things on this show. There will be many racist and homophobic attitudes and slurs (especially in this, due to O'Reily being on the defensive), and generally problematic and awful attitudes and language about many things, including illness and a perfectly nice nurse in this particular fic. 
> 
> Author's note: I know nothing about chemo, and very little about head shaving that doesn't involve electric clippers. My apologies.
> 
> Diverges from canon in several ways, obviously, given that Alvarez is around O'Reily more for one thing, but also assumes O'Reily isn't fully in obsessive love with Dr. Nathan quite yet. (Not that he's not partially there.) 
> 
> I've been away from Oz fic for many years, and can only assume there's been plenty of Miguel/Ryan set during his cancer with Miguel helping him and possibly replacing Gloria in his affections. It's probably better than mine. I wrote this anyway.

"You know that's probably like, the worst way to be doing that, right?" A roughly melodic query came from the movement Ryan O'Reily had sensed to his left. 

"Fuck off, Alvarez. Can't you see I'm having a moment?" Ryan coated his words in a hard sarcastic shell as defense. Had to cover the fact, that _fine_ \-- he _was_ having a fucking moment. And Alvarez was intruding on it. "Besides, if I wanted head shaving advice, I'd go to the Nazis before your ass."

"Would you, though? Those cocksuckers are pretty ugly, O'Reily. You should probably ask someone more handsome for grooming tips." Alvarez mused lightly, and he was setting up shop against the wall in front of Ryan, hip leaned against the sink counter, running his hand over his abdomen thoughtlessly.

Ryan didn't want Alvarez's ass, anyone's ass, here. He had pulled out a fucking clump of his hair a minute ago. His weakness was literally showing and shedding. It needed to go. He had steeled his nerves, stared himself down to make sure his gaze was still hard and vicious. Then he'd gotten right to fucking cutting with the crappy safety razor that had been sitting right there, right in the hospital ward at the sink with a mirror.

Until Miguel Fucking Alvarez in his helpful little scrubs had wandered over to join him. Sure, O'Reily had noticed how well Alvarez had been running the Latinos since the riot -- quiet, clean, and setting up a thriving pharmaceutical business due to their infirmary presence. But that was before. O'Reily didn't have the fucking time or energy to scope out new business partners now. He had to fucking white-knuckle it to keep what he had.

"Don't you have a bedpan to lick clean?" Ryan taunted, making it clear _someone's_ presence wasn't needed.

The only word Ryan caught for sure in Alvarez's response was _pendejo_. Although, part of the angrily muttered Spanish could've been about dick sucking, possibly a suggestion. All Ryan cared about was that it signaled Alvarez moving away from him.

Of course, nothing was easy or good in this shithole. Ryan's solitude was interrupted again when he sensed another body approach a few minutes later. 

_Jesus_. "Who let you have scissors?" At the return of his visitor with his new confusing accessory, Ryan kept his voice less than friendly, but less harsh than before. Because seriously -- how in the hell did Alvarez get his hands on those? Ryan's inquiring mind wanted to know.

Alvarez wasn't wielding them threateningly, since his hand was wrapped around the blades instead of the handle, but Ryan still started cataloging anything nearby he could attack with if he had to. Fuck, he was tired of fighting everything right now.

"Nurses, O'Reily. They find your ass annoying, but I'm charming and sweet." Alvarez came close, but not too close. Like he knew it would look bad, and the scissors were held loosely by his side.

"Ah. Well, I guess this proves that nurse is a fucking idiot." Ryan snapped, but it still wasn't as edged as it could've been. Not the time to start a fight, unfortunately.

Alvarez let out a snort that sounded half annoyed and half amused. He gestured with his free hand, still going for casual and non-threatening. "Come here, you stubborn motherfucker."

"Why?" Ryan let his tone and expression speak mostly for him, both warning Alvarez to keep a few steps away.

"We should cut it first, since your hair's all fucking long and greasy. Were you trying to blend with the Wops or something, man?" Alvarez's teasing ended, before he let out a long suffering sigh, shrugging like he was admitting something. "She only let me hold 'em for ten minutes, and she's fucking watching us. So, chop-chop, O'Reily." Alvarez finally turned the scissors the correct way with an easy deft spin, but kept them closer to himself than Ryan, snipping them lightly in the air with his words.

"I didn't ask for your fucking help." He was going to do this himself.

"Yeah, and you don't make a guy feel real helpful." Miguel agreed, but he didn't really seem very annoyed. And he wasn't going the fuck away, either. "But no matter how much of a dick you are, I'd still rather be doing this than messing with bedpans right now. Give me a break, you grumpy Mick. Besides, I've shaved a head before, have you?"

Christ he was tired, and it was taking far too much of his energy to stay steady as stone when there was a shake rattling around in his bones. In his blood. In his heart. The weariness wasn't just from the operation and chemo. It was fear, and the echoing recoil of everything messed up inside of him when his fucking hair had come right out in his hand. Evidence that part of him was being killed off. Evidence everyone could see.

This was familiar, he reminded himself. This, dealing easily with annoying assholes, was something he could do. He didn't want to be doing it right now, really. But he also would've rather been in Morogoro. (With Pete or Gloria, he wasn't too picky at the moment.) But he had to navigate the shitstorm he was in, like always. "I wasn't aware you were a beauty school drop out, Alvarez."

That got him a rough little chuckle again, same strange mix of irritation and humor.

 _Fuck it_. Alvarez had already seen hints of his weakness. If he kept snarling like a wounded animal, it would show the other man how much this was fucking rocking him. It would be clear to Alvarez the hair loss was important and affecting him, maybe even meant he was vulnerable. Only way to spin away from his obvious weakness was to act like it didn't fucking matter. Couldn't show anyone this moment was meaningful to him.

"Fine. I don't mind having a servant, there, amigo." Ryan acquiesced, but he didn't have to do it sweetly. One last vicious bite, to keep the other man from getting any ideas.

Alvarez let out a low whistle at the insulting words, but he moved closer anyway. "Nice, man. Like premium racist asshole, right there. Maybe you _have_ been hanging out with those Nazi motherfuckers."

"Nah, you're just annoying. You bring it out of me all on your own." He'd already landed a hit or two, so he let his tone grow into more mild annoyance. Time to back off, get this over with.

"That's your last one before we're gonna have a problem. I'm still holding scissors, hermano." Alvarez's little returning jab slipped out with more of his rough laugh hiding underneath it.

"Under the watchful eye of Nurse Forrest Gump over there, who for some reason actually gave them to you." Ryan observed, sort of amused against his will. It was a distraction at least. He needed that, maybe. Whether he had originally wanted it or not, it was here now. Might as well use it.

"Told you, I'm charming." Miguel repeated, slipping behind him. Careful. Alvarez was making sure Ryan could see him in the mirror.

Ryan didn't tense up, because he pretty much never did. He was intellectually aware of how cautious one had to be with a dangerous motherfucker at their back, but physical proximity had never tweaked his nerves. It never bothered him at all.

"Just give them to me, I'll do it." He gestured behind him, reaching for the scissors. At least Ryan had loose pants on under his hospital gown so his ass wasn't hanging out in Alvarez's face.

"She ain't gonna let your ass hold 'em." Miguel pointed out, smirking. "Neither am I. You look pretty stabby right now, O'Reily. If I don't trust you around me with scissors, she sure as shit won't."

Yeah, Alvarez wasn't stupid, at least. Wasn't treating him like he was weak, like he wasn't still dangerous. Ryan sort of hated that it was a relief, but after how people had been watching him, in rare cases speaking to him in soothing tones, or just looking at him like he was only an ill patient and not himself -- it really fucking was. He'd be heading back to Emcity later, and even though he couldn't show it, he was internally on edge about how those cocksuckers were going to look at him. He felt a little bit of the tension that was harder than ever to shoulder leave him for a moment.

"But I should trust you? Yeah, that makes sense." Ryan gave up, though, resting his hands on the sink lightly. He knew Alvarez wasn't going to shank him with borrowed scissors right here. You got a sense of such things, or you didn't survive in here.

Proving him right, Miguel's response was more mildly joking. "Like I'd let you see my ass coming if I was after you. I'm not dumb enough to chat with you before making my move. Ain't a Bond villain, O'Reily."

"Nope. Today you're a barber." Ryan did keep his eyes in the other man in the mirror, though. Wasn't an idiot. "So whose head did you shave? I know it wasn't that Cousin It looking motherfucker in your crew. You know, the one who looks like he has a haircut phobia."

In the mirror, Ryan could see the small grin that accompanied Alvarez's light scoffing sound. 

"I'm gonna start hacking this shit off now." The casual words were Alvarez's little way of showing Ryan enough respect to warn him.

But it turned out not to be enough of a warning. The feather light warmth of fingers brushing the back of his neck -- now _that_ made Ryan hold back -- shit, it was a fucking _shiver_. Ryan knew it was lurking under his skin, even though he managed to keep it from surfacing. He stayed completely still.

He wasn't as used to that kind of touch in here. Light. Gentle, even. And right against his sensitive skin. Ryan didn't really back off from contact -- fuck, he'd felt Adebisi kiss the back of his fucking neck during the riot and hadn't blinked -- but this stood out because of the differences.

Gloria's hand on his was another exception that suddenly sprung to mind. Ryan stayed still in his mind and fucking ignored that, too. Forced himself to focus and not compare them. He didn't want to know if they felt similar.

If Miguel noticed anything, it didn't phase him, and he didn't react. The scissors just started snipping. "My sister." After finally answering Ryan's previous query, Miguel caught his eye in the mirror for a moment. Then he answered the question Ryan didn't ask out loud. "She wasn't sick."

Unlike a normal trim, Miguel was getting as close to the scalp as possible, not caring about it being even. It meant his fingers were in Ryan's hair, sweeping his scalp over and over.

Ryan ignored the way his own fingers tightened infinitesimally on the sink. He was just starved for casual touch in here. That's all it was. This was just different, closer, than arms slung around shoulders and secrets whispered in ears. It wasn't anything, and his voice was casual and easy, tinged with disbelief as he focused on what sounded like a fucked up story. "You shaved your sister's head? Yeah, you're a real charmer, there."

"Nah, it was a whole thing." Miguel explained, ignoring all the hair that was coming out on its own as he cut. Ryan saw it, but Miguel never broke his rhythm or noted it. He just focused on his patter. "Some dick at school spit gum in her hair. After I tracked him down and kicked his fucking ass, I went home and helped her get it out."

Ryan made a face in the mirror, his disbelief doubling there. Sure, the story he believed. He just couldn't comprehend Miguel having chosen that solution. "Couldn't you have just cut the gum out? Why shave her whole fucking head?"

"Well, I was eleven. I might have been a bit of a dick, too." Alvarez admitted, laughing softly. He managed to keep his hand rock steady through it.

Ryan's chuckle joined Miguel's, couldn't hold it in, thinking of Cyril when they were younger. Before... everything. "Nobody can fuck with my little brother but me." He spoke quietly to the chipped porcelain in front of him.

"You got a little brother, huh?" Miguel asked, still casually shucking off hair. "Bet you're one hard ass big brother, man."

Miguel's warm touch still brushed lightly over him, following the scissors. Ryan ignored how it was becoming almost comforting. It was just something to focus on other than what was actually happening as he rapidly lost his hair.

"Usually a coffee klatch has coffee, Alvarez." Ryan teased, realizing Miguel found it entertaining. Fuck knows why, but Ryan would humor him.

"What, you'd rather I groom you in silence? Fucking humor me or I'll leave you hacking at your own skull again." Alvarez paused to clear the cut hair off Ryan's back and shoulders. He could still feel the warmth through the thin hospital gown, as Miguel's firmer touch brushed over more of him. Ryan pushed it from his mind and focused on Alvarez's words, not his agile hands. "And I really don't want to deal with some of those bedpans."

"Yeah. One brother." Keeping talking was helping, but Ryan let his tone quietly convey that was the end of what he was going to say on that particular subject. Didn't want to think of Cyril like he was now, how to explain what happened. And he sure as hell wasn't going to bring up his long gone baby sister.

"Mmm. I only got sisters." Miguel fucking winked at him in the mirror. "It's why women fucking love me."

It was Ryan's turn to scoff, but his heart was only half in it.

Miguel's movements slowed. "Looks like you're about ready for your shitty razor now."

"Maybe you can sweet talk another nurse into a better one, there, Casanova." Ryan joked. His head was tingling. It wasn't the loss of the contact, it was everything else. Had to be.

"Even I ain't that good." Miguel reached around him to put the scissors on the little shelf in front of him and off to the side. Only after giving a pointed shake of them at the nurse, of course. His body and arm brushed up against Ryan this time, not his hands. It was the kind of thing Ryan never paid any mind, and it wasn't breaking his strange calm now. "Could maybe steal a scalpel if I had time, but--"

"-- I wouldn't let you fucking near me with that, lunatic." Ryan finished for him, sanding off the hard edges of his tone. Just because.

Miguel's expression illustrated 'No shit' just fine without wasting words.

The last fucking thing Ryan had wanted was someone here while he was doing this. Fucking doing it for him, even. Now, though, he was rethinking that. It turned the ordeal into something else, less awful somehow. Alvarez being there didn't make him feel more shaken and vulnerable, despite thinking that it would. The man might be showing a strange sort of kindness, but Ryan didn't sense any pity. He'd been getting plenty of that shit, unfortunately. Enough to tell the difference. Alvarez wasn't really acting any differently, still shooting off his mouth, but acknowledging Ryan's previous reputation. Like he was still him, not just the motherfucking cancer patient.

Ryan had no clue how Miguel managed that while literally lopping off his hair because it was falling the fuck out. But he did.

Ryan's gaze slid to the stark rose tattoo on Alvarez's hand as the other man gestured at the razor, before plucking the scissors off the shelf and starting to wander off again. "Scissors are done, so it's your fucking turn." 

Okay, it might have been shit like that. Miguel had acted like the moment was pretty meaningless, despite probably knowing it wasn't. He'd treated it like something mostly normal, like Ryan was still mostly fucking normal and not irreparably weakened or something. He fucking wasn't, and it was maybe, just maybe, nice that Alvarez seemingly acknowledged that.

Somehow Ryan wasn't surprised when Alvarez returned before too long holding shaving cream. He waited until he had Ryan's attention before tossing it at him. 

"Might help with that delicate lily-white skin of yours." Miguel shrugged into a lean against the wall next to the sink in front of Ryan again, but it didn't piss Ryan off this time. It was just a white boy insult, not a cancer one, he could tell. Ryan could be shaving his face and Miguel probably would've said the same thing.

"You don't actually know the best way to do this, do you?" Ryan sneered a little, but it was his most good-natured one.

"I was eleven, hermano. What the fuck would I know? Your way just looked harder." Miguel admitted with a sneaky smile.

"Jesus." Ryan exhaled the bemused word as he shook his head and continued. There was no more shake that he had to hide rattling under his skin. It was gone for now.

The water felt cool on his head. Fucking weird, too. But the turmoil inside him didn't resurface much. It didn't feel as rough this way, at least. Miguel may have had a smart mouth, but he was right. It was fucking easier on the sensitive skin of Ryan's rapidly exposed scalp than what he'd started out doing. It was less fucking alarming without the longer hair coming out everywhere, too, since it had mostly come out during Alvarez's shearing. No way in hell was Ryan going to admit any of that to the man, though. 

Alvarez wasn't really watching him. It was more like he was staying close by so he could appear to be doing something work-related while actually taking a break. Ryan was keeping his own eyes locked on himself in the mirror, but he could feel Miguel leaning in repose a few inches away anyway. A warm presence as his head got colder and bare. It was easier to focus on the perfunctory motions of shaving than the strange new sensation of baring his scalp.

When Ryan finished up, his eyes darted away from the mirror to Alvarez. The man was just scoping out the ward, hand resting idle on his abdomen again. Miguel looked over at Ryan's movements, his deep dark-eyed gaze taking Ryan in.

Ryan fucking hated it, a little, but he didn't let it show. He stared right back, unwavering, as he flicked shaving cream off the razor into the sink with tight sharp motions.

"Missed a spot. I could get it, man." It was a casual offer, not a direction. Apparently Miguel hadn't been weighing him to check out the effects of his illness, but merely checking out his shave to make sure he'd gotten it right.

Ryan didn't relax at that, per se, but he wasn't as much on the defensive.

He also unfortunately realized as Miguel stepped close again, that he fucking _wanted_ him to. It was normal, had to be -- Ryan had never been one for personal space.

"I'll leave it to the professional." Ryan left just a bit of sneer in his voice, but he handed over the razor. 

He shoved away his awareness of Miguel's hand grazing his. He casually touched people all the fucking time in here. It was how he talked, how he moved. Only Gloria should've stood out like this. She made that little spark of real connection start under his skin from even the simplest touch. The feeling he hungrily missed because all the casual touches in here now weren't remotely the same as the contact he craved, however slight that contact was. He couldn't be feeling it now, too.

Alvarez ignored his mild comment, sort of, but Ryan felt the huff of an amused exhale against his skin. Right there, where he was newly stripped clean and extra sensitive. He didn't shiver. He didn't twitch. It wasn't his style. Not even when he felt another brush of rough fingertips on his scalp, standing out far more than the drag of the razor, joining Miguel's other hand lightly resting on the slope of his neck to steady and guide.

"Got it." Alvarez sounded cocky and assured about even the simplest shit sometimes. "You know, before now, I would've sworn you had eyes in the back of your head." Miguel's raspy voice started close, but moved away as he finished, taking all that confusing contact with him. "Or like a 666 tattoo or something."

"Ha ha. I think they flunked you out of beauty school for a reason there, hermano."

Ryan saw Miguel roll his eyes in the mirror, right before the Latino returned to leaning against the sink and wall again, facing him.

Ryan wasn't looking at him, though. He was staring in the mirror. Did he look, like fucking sickly? Or just tough? He looked in his own eyes, willing his expression to push past the former. _Fuck_. He rubbed a hand over his now bare scalp. It was the only motion he would allow himself, stopping his cold hard stare before the other man could comment on it.

What he got was a contemplative hum from Alvarez. "Looks better this way, O'Reily. You don't look like such a mook anymore." 

Ryan didn't comment on Alvarez's opinion, didn't want to give it weight. Ryan was sort of almost pleased inside, though, that his assessment had nothing to do with Ryan looking weird or frail. But he kept that feeling somewhere fucking deep inside that wasn't going to show. Ryan gestured to the mess of hair on the floor and around the sink instead. "I'm not cleaning this shit up, so don't even try bitching at me about it. You should've thought of that before you came to bother me."

"Nah, man, me neither. We'll let the bucket brigade do it. It's their fucking job." Alvarez walked away with a simple tap on Ryan's shoulder. Not pity, more like punctuation to his sentence, to the moment. 

"I bet I look prettier than your sister." Ryan taunted lowly, just his version of goodbye. 

Not like he was going to say thank you.

.He slid back on top of his hospital bed for possibly the last time before returning to Emcity, trying to adjust to the new feel. (To rest. Before he had to put his guard back up even more.) Couldn't just keep staring psychotically at the mirror, after all. Pillow felt weird, too. He idly rubbed his head back against it. Just once.

What do you know? After a little bit, his barber returned.

Alvarez loped down the ward towards him, carrying a small tub of soapy water and a washcloth.

"You are not giving me a fucking sponge bath. Go get the world's dumbest nurse to do it. Maybe I can talk her into something fun." Ryan narrowed his eyes, but his tone wasn't as sharp as it could've been. Alvarez liked playful jabs, it seemed. With him at least. And Ryan didn't fucking owe the man anything for butting in, repeatedly, but neither did Ryan feel like making him pay for it. He wouldn't say thanks, no way, no how. But Ryan wouldn't try to chase him away either. Alvarez wasn't boring, like most things had been lately, and he wasn't stupid, like a lot of the cocksuckers in here. And he didn't look at Ryan like he was a pity case, either.

Ryan saw it in person, not just the reflection, when Alvarez merely rolled his eyes again. 

"In your dreams, baby." Miguel gestured vaguely at his own head and neck. "You know little stray hairs itch like a bitch. You can do it yourself." He set it on Ryan's bedside table none too gently, but the water didn't slosh. Much. "I've got other shit to deal with. Like literal shit. Sometimes I hate this fucking job."

Alvarez's annoyance wasn't with him, clearly. Good, then Ryan wouldn't have to hit back.

But Ryan had also now had the opportunity to watch Alvarez do his job, given his extended stay here, and he knew better. He tilted his head to regard Alvarez keenly. "But you do like it." Let him know Ryan had him pegged.

"I'd ask how you know that, but I know you better than to be fucking surprised." Miguel grinned a little with the droll remark. "Don't know why, but yeah." He didn't try to deflect, or defensively explain, just admitted it with a shrug before he was leaving again.

Ryan was pretty sure this time he wouldn't see the man again until he returned to Emcity. No more wandering over to bug him, Ryan could just tell. And Ryan may have been bored, and anxious about dealing with everything that was coming, but he wasn't insane. He wasn't going to wander over to watch the man clean shitty bedpans. 

Alvarez slowed his stroll away from Ryan's bed to call back over his shoulder. "Not this fucking part though!"

It was clear he was talking about the bedpans, and not dealing with Ryan himself.

"You're just sad thinking about how much you're going to fucking miss me." Ryan threw one last mild taunt at Alvarez's retreating back.

It spun the man around, and Miguel walked backwards for a few steps to reply while facing him, pointing a declarative finger at Ryan. "You're right, O'Reily. You are better then cleaning up shit. Be proud."

What do you know? Alvarez could be a little amusing, too. Just a little. Enough to pull another short dry laugh out of Ryan even on this absolute crap day.

***  
End

**Author's Note:**

> Also, another possible canon divergence note: I'm only beginning to rewatch this show, and while it's been mentioned at this point that Alvarez has a sister/sisters, I have no idea if they later specified how many or if he had brothers as well. Feel free to inform me if you know.
> 
> Title stolen from a song by Lorde. The song has no bearing on the fic, just thought the title fit and titles are hard. 
> 
> Thanks go to [jackiesjunkie](/users/jackiesjunkie) for patiently listening to me babble about this.
> 
> Note: I'm don't how much there's going to be of this series, but there is at least one fic likely to follow, because it turned out an unfinished snippet I wrote way back in the day slots right into this storyline. I'm unsure beyond that, though, or if there's any interest in me continuing it. I honestly almost didn't post this one.


End file.
